13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do - Amy Morin

What does it mean to be mentally strong? The author Amy Morin indicates, in her book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, which habits, thoughts and behaviors you should avoid in order to become mentally strong and cope with life’s difficulties.

When looking for a healthy life, many people only think about the physical part. Of course, this is important, but we mustn’t forget to also focus on our inner development.

The benefits of this are reflected in all other spheres of life, such as a willingness to work, motivation to face challenges and a greater drive to achieve goals.

So check out this summary to find out how to strengthen yourself mentally too and get ready to achieve all the goals in your life!

The book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”

The book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, by Amy Morin, was released in 2015 and is 272 pages long.

Its conception occurred in a peculiar way. After overcoming a serious personal crisis, the psychotherapist wrote on her blog a post about the main characteristics of people who manage to face difficulties without letting themselves down.

The article went viral and was read by more than 10 million people in a week. In this work, the author deepens her thesis and presents research, true stories and practical strategies. As a result: now you can reprogram the harmful habits that have been compromising your health, productivity and well-being.

Who is Amy Morin?

Amy Morin was born in Scotland, UK, and is a psychotherapist, social worker and writer. She is known for her books which, among other things, offer solutions to increase mental strength, gain confidence and make better choices.

In 2015, Morin gave a lecture at TEDx on “The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong” (available on YouTube). It presents strategies for abandoning unhealthy habits that drain one’s mental strength.

In addition to this book, Amy Morin is the author of other works such as “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do” and “13 Things Mentally Strong Women Don’t Do”. Besides, her books have already been translated into 35 languages.

Why should I read “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”?

According to the author Amy Morin, the book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” is “for all who seek to be better today than they were yesterday”. This work strongly contributes to the career of professionals in search of success and mindset change.

What can I learn from “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”?

• You must not feel sorry for yourself under any circumstances;
• Everything changes all the time: if you don’t adapt, you’ll be outdated;
• There are five stages of change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance;
• Trying to control everything all the time is the biggest problem for anxious people;
• You don’t have to please everyone;
• Reminiscing about the past can be self-destructive;
• It’s very important that you reflect on your mistakes;
• Focusing or envying someone else’s success isn’t going to get you anywhere;
• Success is not immediate;
• A mentally strong person takes time to focus on their personal and professional growth;
• Everything in this world must be conquered;
• Concentrate on your efforts, accept criticism and acknowledge your failures. Besides, don’t compare yourself to the others;
• Mentally strong people aren’t impatient;
• Have your long-term goals and work relentlessly.

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Don’t feel sorry for yourself

According to Amy Morin, you must not feel sorry for yourself under any circumstances. If you do that, besides wasting time, you’ll be multiplying negative emotions.

The result will be disastrous: you will damage your relationships as a whole, personal and professional.

The author says in her book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, that:

“Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. Giving oneself to self-pity makes it difficult to live a full life.”

Don’t give your power to other people

The author Amy Morin believes that people give up their power when there are no clear physical and emotional limits.

In this way, you should not allow others to control your actions, or they will also define your success and self-esteem. So keep track of your personal goals and work to achieve them.

Don’t be afraid of change

Yes, you should not be afraid of changes in your personal or professional life. After all, everything changes all the time, and if you don’t adapt, you’ll be outdated. In the Amy Morin’s words:

“Other people will overcome you.”

According to the book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, there are five stages of change:

1. Pre-contemplation;
2. Contemplation;
3. Preparation;
4. Action;
5. Maintenance.

Don’t waste time with what you can’t control

Trying to control everything all the time is the biggest problem for anxious people. Check out the main points highlighted by the author Amy Morin in this regard:

• Trying to maintain total control increases anxiety;
• Trying to control everything is a waste of time and energy;
• Being a controller harms relationships;
• You will judge others harshly;
• Blame yourself for everything without need.

You don’t have to please everyone

Have you ever heard the saying, “Not even Jesus pleased everyone”?

That’s right. Amy Morin reminds us that we often care too much what others think about us. She lists in her book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, four facts about trying to be a person who pleases others:

1. It’s a waste of time;
2. You end up being easily manipulated;
3. It’s okay for others if you feel disappointed or nervous;
4. You can’t please everyone.

Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks

It’s okay that you’re afraid to take some risks, but sometimes it's necessary. To face the challenge, according to the author Amy Morin, is very simple: you must have knowledge.

“Lack of knowledge about how to calculate risk leads to increased fear.”

Don’t live in the past

What you’ve been through, you’ve been through. Amy Amorim teaches us that to dwell on the past can be self-destructive. Moreover, this way of life will prevent you from enjoying the present and planning for the future.

The author states in her book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, that:

“Reflecting on the lessons learned, considering the facts and not the emotions, and looking at the situation from a new perspective can be useful.”

Don’t repeat the same mistakes

To make a mistake once is to learn, twice... Well, it’s very important that you reflect on your past mistakes. This is how you become a mentally strong person: take responsibility for the mistake and create a plan to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Don’t resent the success of others

According to Amy Morin:

“Resentment is like anger that remains hidden and stored.”

So focusing on or envying someone else’s success will get you nowhere, quite the contrary. You will end up deviating from your own mission and your own path.

So ask yourself what’s best for you... What makes you happy... Value your own talents and skills, focus on your own values and relationships, and be yourself.

Don’t give up after the first failure

Actually, nobody likes to fail. It’s painful. On the other hand, the author Amy Morin teaches us that success is not immediate, and failure will most often be an obstacle that you will have to overcome.

According to the book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, a mentally strong person accepts failure because knows that she/he is good enough to persist and do better next time. In fact:

 “Rising again after a failure will make it stronger.”

Don’t be afraid of spending time alone

Loneliness is different from being alone. Faced with this, the author Amy Morin proposes an experience: why not take some time to keep only your own thoughts?

One of the steps of a mentally strong person is to set aside some time apart from everyday life to focus on their personal and professional growth.

The book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do” cites some benefits of being alone:

• Being alone in the office can increase productivity;
• Being alone can only increase your empathy;
• Time alone can increase creativity;
• Knowing how to stay is only good for your mental health;
• Staying alone is just restorative.

Don’t think the world owes you anything

Sometimes you can be angry with the world because you haven't achieved what you wanted or achieved success. When that happens, remember that no one is entitled to anything. Everything in this world must be conquered.

Amy Morin observes:

“Life was not made to be fair.”

So concentrate on your efforts, accept the criticism and acknowledge your failures. Besides, don’t compare yourself to others: you may end up disappointed when you don’t receive what the world owes you.... And of course the world owes you nothing.

Don’t expect immediate results

The author Amy Morin explains in her book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, that you must not have absurd expectations. On the contrary, with your feet on the ground, be realistic. Develop the understanding that success doesn’t happen overnight and so you will develop your full potential.

That’s right, mentally strong people aren’t impatient.

So have your long-term goals and work relentlessly. Be assured that not everything will turn out the way you expect, but it’s okay. Be patient, because life always suprehends.

Books about personal development

In Tony Robbins’ book “Awaken the Giant Within”, there are also great lessons about life changes, which, according to the author, depend only on the initial decision to change. As such, the book outlines lessons about self-control and how these lessons can help you achieve your personal goals.

In the book “Mindset”, by psychologist Carol S. Dweck, it is debated how our beliefs shape our behavior and our growth. While mindsets produce definite world views, people can change by learning new skills. Human beings can be taught to react in different ways, how to face challenges and think differently.

Finally, in the work “Winning”, Jack Welch approaches that we must always seek quality in our professional life. If you are not satisfied with your job, find a job that provides enthusiasm for your career, it is very important that you do not settle down and leave the comfort zone.

How can I apply the ideas from “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do”?

Now that you know the main points of Amy Morin’s book, “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”, how about applying them in your life?

So, let’s go:

• Volunteer: help someone, take the focus off their problems and win over self-pity;
• Gratitude’s diary. Every day, write at least one thing you're grateful for;
• Always forgive;
• Establish a realistic timeline for your goals;
• Delegate tasks and responsibilities to others;
• Focus on problems that are really under your control;
• Create a written plan so you don’t repeat the same mistake as in the past;
• Create your own definition of success;
• View failure as a learning opportunity;
• Take a few minutes of the day to be alone;
• Practice meditation;
• Reflect every day on your progress and goals;
• Develop a healthy level of self-esteem;
• Create only realistic expectations;
• Celebrate the small achievements in your career;
• Accept the importance of walking the long way.

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