If you don't know how to behave in a negotiation, have difficulties expressing yourself and reaching an agreement, then the book "Getting Past No", by author William Ury, was made for you.
It offers smart and practical strategies for you to break down the barriers of negotiation and be able to close a good deal, overcoming no and conquering the much desired yes.
Are you curious? So continue reading this PocketBook and learn all about the art of dealing with difficult people!
"Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations" was written by William Ury and originally published in 1991 by Bantam Publishing.
The bestseller offers, in its content, simple and innovative ways to behave in a negotiation in the face of difficult opponents, in addition to teaching how to turn your opponent into a partner.
William Ury is a bestselling author, speaker, and anthropologist. In addition, he is a co-founder of the Harvard Negotiation Program, and one of the most renowned mediations and negotiation specialists in the world.
"Getting Past No" is ideal for all negotiators, mediators, entrepreneurs or investors who want to learn how to reach "yes" in a negotiation.
Reading is also recommended for those who need to break barriers and overcome the difficulties of reaching agreement in different everyday situations.
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In this first section of the book "Getting Past No", William Ury shows that all of us at various times in our lives face difficult negotiations, whether dealing with the boss, the husband, the clients, or the children.
As such, he explains how we should prepare to face these situations and break down the barriers that keep the "yes" out of our reach.
For the author William Ury, we are all traders, yet many of us regard negotiations as difficult and stressful confrontations.
We can "lose the game" when we are flexible, or break relationships when we are very strict.
That way you have to solve problems without attacking your opponents. For this, the book "Getting Past No" shows five barriers to be broken in order to reach cooperation in a negotiation:
When you are under stress, or you find a "no" or feel that you are being attacked, you have the need to react and strike back at your opponents' blows.
However, many times, the choice made is to give up the negotiation, giving the victory to your opponent.
According to the author William Ury in his book "Getting Past No", another possible barrier is the negative reaction from the other side. These reactions may be hostility and anger, or fear and distrust.
So, convinced that they are right, they can refuse to hear your arguments.
In joint problem solving, the two sides face the problem and face it together. But the obstacle may be the attitude that opponents take to "negotiate the old fashioned way" and try everything to make him give in or give up.
Even if your goal is a satisfactory deal for both sides, opponents may not be interested in this deal. They may not see how they will benefit from your ideas.
If your opponents see trading as a game in which someone has to lose, they may be determined to defeat you:
"What is mine is mine, what is yours is negotiable."
The secret to effective trading is preparation. According to the author William Ury, many negotiations are not successful due to a lack of preparation. We need to worry more about the preparations than the meeting itself.
The book "Getting Past No" shows the five most important aspects to reflect on and then come to terms with:
In this section of the book "Getting Past No", the author William Ury shows five strategies for breaking the trading barriers presented earlier.
The author's first strategy is to control your reactions when you feel that the negotiation is not going well and that you are moving away from the "yes". "Go to the porch" is a metaphor for "walk away".
You should view the trade with an observer look. Consequently, you will think rationally, distancing your emotional reactions from your involvement with the negotiation.
Doing so can prevent reactions such as:
Therefore, "going to the porch" involves pausing the negotiation and reflecting on everything that is going on. It can also advise negotiators to save time to review proposals and not to make important impulsive decisions.
The second strategy involves understanding the problem from your opponent's perspective. To achieve this, the author William Ury makes some suggestions:
If followed correctly, this walkthrough repositions the speech between you and the other side. In this way, you will be speaking as a partner trying to jointly address an issue to solve a problem.
People across the table may be trying to attack you while you try to attack the problem. So what to do when the other person is being adamant? For the author, it is necessary to rephrase his opponent's options rather than rejecting the ideas.
The ideal agreement, according to the book "Getting Past No", must be built from two perspectives. Therefore, you should use the other person's ideas as the basis for building an alternative that benefits both sides and solves common problems:
To learn how to deal with another's dissatisfaction and change this situation, you need to move them in the direction you want them to go. Insisting that he accept the agreement you proposed will only show him that it is your idea and not his.
According to William Ury, you must build a golden bridge over the abyss. That is, helping your opponent overcome obstacles that prevent them from reaching an agreement.
You can do this in many ways. One is by involving the other side in solving a problem. That way you will be building a bridge that brings his thinking to your own.
In this part of the book "Getting Past No", the author William Ury explains that it is necessary to use power to reach a mutual agreement rather than to use it for victory. When the opponent refuses to sign a deal, he believes he will win the deal. Therefore, it must be proved otherwise.
Using your power to educate the adversary is to show him the consequences of not accepting the deal:
In this chapter, Ury goes back to the steps that lead to an agreement and what it takes to make opponents partners.
Breaking the barriers of negotiation is a difficult task. To be a successful negotiator you must be patient and persistent. Achieving your goals and reaching a satisfactory agreement requires:
In "What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School", Mark McCormack also talked about the win-win strategy. According to him, the ideal result for any negotiation is that both sides win because if one side is more satisfied than the other, the results of the negotiation are unexpected.
Roger Dawson, in his book "Secrets of Power Negotiating", reveals his tactics for succeeding in a negotiation. He points out that most negotiation happens through nonverbal communication.
That is, studying body language gives you both the advantage of knowing how to behave in a negotiation and the advantage of identifying whether your "opponent" is satisfied or disappointed during the deal.
Finally, in "SPIN Selling", author Neil Rackham points out that the quality of the questions asked is crucial to the success of the negotiation.
Now that you have learned the step-by-step to achieve the long-awaited "yes" in a negotiation, let us recall some practical tips offered by the author William Ury in his book "Getting Past No":
We hope you enjoyed our summary and are able to apply the advice of the author, William Ury, to your life. Leave your opinion in the comments, your feedback is very important to us!
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