We are apt to forget that all people face difficult times, in which we feel that the events and circumstances have more control over our life than ourselves.
But we are not alone. According to Tony Robbins, part of a life of quality is learning to evaluate and consider the emotional struggle of others.
He states that the only way to experience the richness of life is to live in an attitude of gratitude, appreciating what you have and what you can give.
This book is meant to help you take control and begin to change the quality of your life through some simple decisions. Are you ready? So let's go.
About the book “Notes From a Friend”
The book released in 2017, was written by Tony Robbins, who shows through real examples and precious tips such as discipline and awareness of your actions can be refreshing.
This work is composed of 112 pages and is divided into 11 chapters, that is, 11 lessons shared by the author, who will help you get where you want.
About the author Tony Robbins
Anthony Robbins, American born in 1960 in the state of California, is the author of this book and six international best sellers, being also the protagonist of the acclaimed documentary "I'm Not Your Guru". Some of them are:
Robbins is one of the responsible for the popularization of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), besides being a famous coach and considered one of the most influential men of his generation.
Tony has already provided his teachings to Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey and the former US President, Bill Clinton.
To whom is this book indicated?
This book is indicated for those who are facing "difficult times". In order to improve people's quality of life, it offers understanding and support through a few simple steps.
It should also be read by people who desire and/or need inspiration. It offers encouragement, through ideas, on how to handle any challenge you are facing.
Main ideas of the book “Notes From a Friend”
Before going to the content here are some sentences that summarizes Tony’s thinking:
- "Almost all the changes we want to make fall into one of two categories: either we want to change the way we feel about things or we want to change our actions";
- "You can change anything in your life today, changing perceptions and changing your actions";
- "Your past is not the same as your future";
- "The key to success is deciding what is most important to you and then taking massive steps every day to make it better, even when it does not seem to be working";
- "Ultimately, it is our decisions, not the conditions of our lives that determine our destiny".
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Overview: "Feeling suffocated ... how to reverse"
Tony Robbins makes it clear that "our past is not like our future". Do not limit yourself to what you did yesterday, but instead invest your energy in the improvements you can make today based on the mistakes made yesterday.
Many times we are afraid to try again and this happens because we do not want to deal with the frustration associated with the mistake.
The key to success is determining what your priorities are. But that is not enough, as you also need to take action, every day, to become better. Focus on solutions, not on problems.
According to Robbins,
"the first key to success is personal strength. Personal strength means being persistent in action: each time you do something, you learn from it and you find a way to do better next time."
Successful people have one thing in common: They do not give up when they receive a no, they do the opposite. They get motivated:
"I believe that most people would not reach twenty “no”- not a hundred or a thousand! However, it is what we take sometimes to achieve success”.
Overview: "Design your convictions and ... destroy them"
According to the book “Notes From a Friend” there is a force able to control all of your decisions. It affects how you think and feel at all times in your life. It determines, also, what you will do and what you will not do. It is called conviction.
To exemplify the power of convictions, let's take an example: Has anyone ever asked you, "Can you please go get the salt? ", then, you searched everywhere and ended up saying, "I can not find the salt".
The person who asked you came to where you were, stopped next to you and took the salt right in front of you. Then you thought, "How didn’t I see it?" Simple, it's because you did not believe it was there.
According to Robbins, as soon as we have a conviction, it begins to control what we can see and feel. This force is very powerful, so we need to be careful about what we choose to believe, especially about ourselves.
Basically, we can create beliefs about anything, just find some references to prove them.
"You can choose what you will believe about yourself, and those convictions will determine your actions."
Robbins says that what matters is that you choose beliefs that support you and give you hope and energy.
Overview: "Welcome to the Great State of ... You"
The way we move affects our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The movement changes the chemistry of our body, from physical activities like walking, running and jumping, to smaller activities, such as facial expressions.
So, Tony Robbins highlights that we must realize that emotion is created by movement.
To feel like a winner, you just start acting like one. Find those who are successful and model the physiology, confidence, breathing, gesture and walk of these people.
Another way to do this is to model the movements yourself do when you are feeling good. You will discover a way to harness the ability of every cell in your body.
According to Robbins,
"since you are making contact with models of trust, success and happiness, do not just observe your physiology, but also listen to what they say. Listen to the structure of your language and you will learn how to develop... the vocabulary of success".
Overview: "The Vocabulary of Success”
Just like the way we move, the words we use control our thoughts and they control how we feel and what we do.
We can see this when we are touched by listening to the speeches of Martin Luther King Jr. or John F. Kennedy, even though they were decades ago.
Words have the ability to change what we feel, and many people are not aware of this when they exchange words with other people and even with themselves.
According to Robbins,
"You must prepare for a new type of vocabulary test. Think of some words you use to describe your life and make you feel awful. Then think of some new words you can use instead. May cause to be comical if you wish. Have a good time!”
This way, feel 'ecstatic' instead of just 'satisfied', 'fascinated' rather than just 'interested', ‘marvelous' rather than just 'well'. You are not just 'determined,' but 'uncontrollable'.
What do other authors say about it?
Carol Dweck, in her book “Mindset”, debates about how our beliefs shape our behavior and our growth. While mindsets produce definitive worldviews, people can change as they learn new skills.Human beings can be taught to react in different ways, such as facing challenges and thinking differently.
For the author of “Psychology of Selling”, Brian Tracy, successful people improve their inner dialogue with optimistic and confident phrases. For example, if you repeat the phrase "I like myself" throughout the day, your self-esteem will certainly increase.
The book “Neuro-Linguistic Programming For Dummies”, by the authors Kate Burton and Romilla Ready, teaches the fundamentals of NLP, used by Tony Robbins in his lessons and works. In it, you will learn to better manage emotions, have empathic communication, among many other things.
Okay, but how can I apply this to my life?
Tony Robbins proposes to do what he calls the "Ten-Day Mental Challenge" which allows you to take control of your mind by not letting it keep a negative thought in a systematic way.
So let's get the rules:
- Refuse to get thoughts, feelings, questions or words harmful to yourself and other people;
- When you pick yourself up focusing on the negative, immediately ask questions to get you to a better place. Such as "What's so serious about this problem? ";
- When getting up in the morning, ask yourself, "What am I happy with in my life right now?”. Before you go to bed at night, ask yourself, "What did I learn today?, How can I use today as an investment for my future?";
- Your energy should be directed to solutions, not to problems;
- If you are stuck in thoughts, feelings, questions or words that are harmful to yourself and others for more than 5 minutes, then the "ten-day mental challenge" begins again.
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