Relationships 101 - John C. Maxwell

Relationships 101 - John C. Maxwell

Learn to understand people - how they think, what they feel and what inspires them - so you can motivate and influence them in a positive way.

Everything you do is a result of teamwork. Regardless of being a leader or follower, CEO, or volunteer worker, you are connected to other people. So you need to know, "Will this call succeed?"

Do you have the respect, shared experiences, trust, reciprocity, and mutual pleasure you need to make your relationships successful?

If you have all these qualities, you can stop here and refer this PocketBook to a friend. Now if you want to be successful in your walk, you need to be able to understand others.

So get ready and focus as this content is here to transform you!

About the book "Relationships 101"

Released in 2016, "Relationship 101", was written by John Maxwell. This work belongs to the series "The 4 Secrets of Success" and offers the basic principles that guided Maxwell throughout his journey.

The series consists of the books: "Secrets Of Empowerment", "Attitude 101", "Relationship 101" and "Leadership 101".

About the author John C. Maxwell

John Calvin Maxwell was born in 1947, in the United States. He is a leadership expert (lecturer), founder of EQUIP, and John Maxwell Company.

In addition, Maxwell is considered the number one business leader by the American Management Association and the world's most influential leadership expert by Business Insider.

He has sold over 30 million books, including "The Golden Book of Leadership", "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership", and "Developing The Leader Within You 2.0".

To whom is this book indicated?

Whether you're a player or coach, teacher or student, parent, or child - your relationships will determine the success of your walk. John Maxwell explores aspects of relationships and the obstacles to developing and growing them.

"What do we need to know about the people we work with or live with?" "How can we listen to them more and better?" "How to serve and lead at the same time?"

The book offers us principles that are proven and proven by Maxwell's time and experience, which will allow us to answer these questions.

Main ideas of the book "Relationships 101"

From the content presented in the book, we've put together the best strategies for leveraging your relationships.

I will soon say that the main points of the book, summarized in a few short sentences, are these:

  • "Do not despise or oppose what you do not understand";
  • What are the most important words in human relationships;
  • "Each person can have the ability to understand, motivate and influence others";
  • "Ability to listen skillfully is the basis for cultivating personal relationships";
  • "You are not learning anything while speaking";
  • "When your words and actions get married, people know they can trust you".

Now let's get to the content!

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[Book Summary] Relationships 101 - John C. Maxwell

Overview: "What do you need to know about others?"

Not understanding people is a source of constant tension in our culture. If we could reduce misconceptions, the courts would be more relieved, the number of crimes would be lower, and the level of stress to which people would be exposed daily would decrease.

If understanding others is such a good thing, why don't we practice it? For Maxwell, there are a few reasons:


"Some people react with fear when they don't understand other individuals. And once they have begun to fear them, they rarely try to overcome their fears by learning more about them".

To solve this problem, replace fear with doubt. Follow the advice of former US President Harry Truman:

"When we understand someone else's point of view - we understand what they are trying to do - nine times out of ten they are trying to do the right thing".


When it is not fear, selfishness is the obstacle. Indeed, it is in our nature to put self-interest first.

According to Maxwell:

"If you want to see an example of this kind of situation, play with a two-year-old. He usually picks the best toys for himself and insists on playing his way".

Overcoming selfishness requires looking at things from the other person's point of view. We need to put ourselves in another person's position so that we can understand them.

Overview: "A Short Course on Human Relations"

  • The word that matters least: me;
  • The word that matters most: us;
  • The two most interesting words: thank you very much;
  • The three most interesting words: everything is forgivable;
  • The four most interesting words: what is your opinion?
  • The five most interesting words: you did a great job;
  • The seven most interesting words: I really want to understand you more accurately.

Overview: "Some Things Everyone Needs to Know About People"

Understanding what people need and want is essential to understanding them better. Maxwell lists what he knows about understanding them:

  1. Everyone Wants to Be Someone: Even the least greedy and most modest individual wants to be respected by others;
  2. No one cares what you know unless you know how much you care: The instant they realize how much you care about them, the way people see you changes completely;
  3. Individuals need individuals: We all go through difficulties, we all need friendship, encouragement, and support. There are a few things that we achieve alone. Now together there are no limits to what we can achieve;
  4. Every individual has the ability to be someone, just for others to understand and believe in him: little dedication is required to make people feel important. Details, done intentionally and at the right time, can generate big positive changes;
  5. Everyone who helps someone influences many others: According to Maxwell, "The nature of influence is to multiply. It even influences you, because by helping others - and their motivations - you always get more than you give."

Overview: "How to Develop Listener Skills"

Listening is a very effective way to help others and yourself. At first, it may seem that there are no benefits, but by becoming a good listener, you develop the ability to create solid relationships, gather precious information, and increase your knowledge about yourself and others.

In addition to wanting to become a good listener, you need to acquire some skills. Maxwell suggests nine techniques which are:

  • "Look who's talking";
  • "Do not interrupt";
  • "Focus on understanding";
  • "Determine the need at the moment";
  • "Check your emotions";
  • "Suspend your judgment";
  • "Summarize at intervals";
  • "Ask clarifying questions";
  • "Always make listening to your priority".

Several people underestimate the importance of listening. On the other hand, the few who are good listeners know the power this has in relationships.

It's never too late to gain this ability, it can change your life, as well as the lives of the people around you.

Overview: "How do you cultivate trust in people?"

In his best-seller, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey highlighted the importance of integrity:

"If I try to use strategies to influence people and tactics on how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and to each other - while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and lack of sincerity - so, in the long run, I cannot succeed. My duplicity will generate distrust, and everything I do - even using the so-called good human relations techniques - will be seen as manipulation".

Therefore, become a whole person. Adjust your actions to match your principles, or adjust your principles to match your actions. This is a choice you must make.

Commit to honesty, confidentiality, and credibility. Live on a strict moral code, and be determined to follow it no matter what.

Decide beforehand that you cannot be purchased. Their integrity is not negotiable: Neither by power, nor by pride, nor by money, nor by revenge.

According to Maxwell:

"If you know that what you stand for is correct and acts on those principles, people can trust you. You are a model of character and consistency that other people admire and want to imitate. And you laid a good foundation that makes it possible to cultivate positive relationships".

What do other authors say about it?

In "How to win friends and influence people" Dale Carnegie says that it takes character to understand and forgive people for their mistakes. So if you want people to like you, think about why you made that mistake, accept the consequences and don't openly criticize them.

Stephen R. Covey, in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" shows that certain basic principles and values make people more effective, such as fairness, fairness, integrity, honesty, dignity, and courage. When one develops from classical principles, one becomes a leader who, by mastering himself, can inspire and assist other individuals.

Ready to learn how to focus your brain on what is essential to you and your working team? Greg McKeown will show you the benefits of focusing on less, but most important things with the book "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less".

Okay, but how can I apply this to my life?

When you think of service, do you imagine a limited person performing an activity? If so, this is an incorrect impression. For Maxwell, "service is not related to position or skill. Service is about attitude".

You certainly notice when a person doesn't want to help you, as well as when someone has a servant's heart. And the best leaders are those who want to serve others, not just themselves.

This means that to be a true leader, we must have a servant's heart. A true servant leader:

  1. "Put the others in the first place": be aware of people's desires, be available to help them, and be able to give importance to their needs;
  2. "Has the confidence to serve": only self-confident leaders provide power to others. Only secure people demonstrate service;
  3. "Take the initiative to serve": great leaders expect nothing in return to serve others. They see the possibility of serving and set out for action;
  4. "Not aware of position": servant leaders do not focus on position or distinction.

Finally, Maxwell says:

"If you want to succeed at the highest level, be willing to serve at the lowest level possible. This is the best way to cultivate relationships."

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