“The Art of Reading Minds” is a reality that is present in our daily lives and we have the capacity to enhance it. You will be introduced to non-verbal communication and body language techniques, developed by author Henrik Fexeus, which can be used to persuade people around you.
In addition, the study of behavior will provide a significant improvement in your personal and professional relationships, through the understanding of attitudes and emotions.
Are you interested? Then continue reading our summary and we will teach you the main methods of behavioral analysis!
About the book “The Art of Reading Minds”
In the book “The Art of Reading Minds” (2007), the author, Henrik Fexeus, presents us a possible way to analyze the minds of the people around us.
The purpose of the book is to enable the reader to recognize a person's thoughts through looks, words, tone of voice, posture, and breathing.
In this way, the author provides the right tools, such as exercises to test abilities, explanatory images, among others.
About the author Henrik Fexeus
Henrik Fexeus was born in 1971. Since his childhood, he showed an interest in magic and new discoveries. As a teenager, he devoted himself to communication, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), body language, hypnosis, and magic.
He is currently a psychologist, writer, lecturer, and distributes his opinions on TV shows.
Fexeus also wrote more than 7 books on practical psychology and influence. Among them are: “When You Do What I Want You To” and “The Power Games”.
To whom is this book indicated?
The content presented in “The Art of Reading Minds” is ideal for you who want to better understand and face people, their behaviors, and the relationships behind every detail.
In addition, based on the suggestions and techniques presented, it is possible to strengthen your negotiations and relationships.
Main ideas of the book “The Art of Reading Minds”
- The techniques for reading minds can be practiced in your daily life;
- The mind is read through body posture and non-verbal language;
- Study minutely how people work;
- Adapt your speech to them;
- Find something in common with your interlocutor;
- Avoid making decisions when you have negative emotions.
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Overview: Reading the Mind
In the initial part of the work “The Art of Reading Minds”, the author Henrik Fexeus makes it clear that the power to read minds is something that is part of our daily lives and that we need to improve this skill.
But how so? I read minds and I don't know?
Well, according to him, the crucial points to carry out this reading are through body posture and non-verbal language. In other words, we are always transmitting a message, no matter how much we are not aware of it.
In addition, Fexeus explains that physical posture affects us psychologically and vice versa. For example, if you stand for a long time, it makes you angry, just as if you get irritated, consequently, your expression will reflect this, with your jaw cracked and brows furrowed.
The word empathy is increasingly present in our vocabulary, but do you know its real meaning?
For the author Henrik Fexeus, empathy is everything capable of creating harmony and a good relationship with people, based on trust, cooperation, consent, and most importantly: being open to the ideas of others.
The first step in implementing empathy is to examine and thoroughly know how people work, behave and what their characteristics are, and from that, we have to adapt our speech according to the person we want to communicate with.
According to the book “The Art of Reading Minds”, the main advantages that empathy provides is to make people like you and create a strong bond of trust.
In addition, it can be applied in almost all relationships, from job interviews to when it comes to dealing with authorities.
Finally, when we talk about empathy, we also talk about body language!
Overview: Body Language
Presenting the techniques for reading minds, the author Henrik Fexeus cites in his work “The Art of Reading Minds” the “Alignment and Mirroring”, which consists of observing the person with whom you want to develop empathy and copy your posture.
But calmly, this "copy" must be subtle and gradual, in addition to being adapted. A special and good point to start is to copy the expression on the person's face.
Other aspects that you need to be aware of to master this technique are the voice, timbre, and tone of the language, in addition to always considering the intensity of your breathing. These points can be another means of seeking a connection with people.
Did you see how your body movements can influence your presentation? After all, as important as your tone of voice, rhythm, and diction, is the way your movements complement your speech. It is working together!
Henrik suggests that body language and speech are not aligned with the purpose of the message, so I quote two examples to be observed:
- Pay attention to jargon in professional conversations. These situations demand certain professionalism that is not aligned to the informal language;
- If you are going to ask someone to be calm, don't do it by shouting, as it would be a clear misalignment between speech and body language.
These tips extend to written language as well; so always have reciprocity, if you received a formal email, respond formally as well.
Finally, the author says that we should always find something in common with our interlocutor, even if it is a similar hobby, and suggests that we use common sense to know the limit of adapting behavior, as we can never imitate a disability or an accent.
Emotion is a feeling that is transmitted by everyone and, in most cases, is disseminated by facial expressions. Every time we express a feeling, it is represented by the muscles in our face.
There are feelings that are easy to understand (for example, happiness), some people already have two emotions at the same time (being sad and forcing a smile), and others don't even understand their own emotions.
According to Henrik Fexeus, when we are in the company of people with negative emotions, we tend to block positive emotions, so try to avoid making decisions at that time and make room for people.
Furthermore, we can never let a person's expression affect our behaviors, as we don't know what caused that emotion in him and what his motives are.
The author quotes Paul Ekman in his book "The Art of Reading Minds", a psychologist who classified the 7 universal emotions. Let's understand what they are and their main characteristics:
- Surprise: characterized by the “open” face, high and curved eyebrows, wide eyes, and open mouth;
- Sadness: shown from the corners of the mouth pointing down, lower eyelids raised and eyes down;
- Anger: perceived through tight eyelids, compressed lips, and furrowed eyebrows;
- Fear: expressed through raised and straight eyebrows, open and tense eyes, wrinkles on the forehead, and retracted lips;
- Disgust: it is noticed when the person expresses wrinkles in the nose and raised upper lip;
- Contempt: demonstrated when the corner of the mouth is compressed and elevated and the eyes are directed downwards;
- Joy: this is easy, right? It is characterized by an open smile and a little tighter look.
But pay attention! A smile is easy to fake, right? Wrong!
When we truly smile, the muscles of the face contract and make the eyes narrow. So if someone doesn't have that kind of look, it's probably a fake smile.
"When that muscle (of the eye) is not contracted, we say 'your mouth is smiling, but your eyes are not'."
Overview: Lies Detector
Most people lie all the time, whether for silly things or even the most complex ones.
In order to detect whether the person is lying, we have to observe whether their signs are consistent with their speeches.
The author Henrik Fexeus listed in his book, "The Art of Reading Minds", some of the main attitudes or signs of when the person is lying, which are:
- Scratch the nose;
- They cannot keep an eye on the eye;
- Very sweaty hands;
- Unexpected changes in tone of voice, speeches, and language.
Henrik stresses the importance of understanding the person and his actions, and suggests always acting with caution, in order to let the person explain himself if you suspect something.
Overview: Change Your Mind
According to the author Henrik Fexeus, it is necessary to modify some thoughts and expressions; filtering them out before we make something true is essential.
So, we must get rid of all negative feelings and the word "no". We can make negative sentences turn into positive ones, but always keeping the idea.
Finally, we need to be careful with objects that can serve as an anchor and become good or bad feelings.
All of this affects how you communicate and identify other people's emotions. “The Art of Reading Minds” requires preparation so that you can obtain great results.
What do other authors say about it?
According to Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, in his book "Influence", everyone influences and is influenced. He explains that persuasion professionals know exactly what they want and where they want to go, and for that, they use six psychological principles to achieve their goals.
Deepening the law of solid foundation, which defends the importance of obtaining people's trust in order to influence them, the book "How to Win Friends & Influence People", written by author Dale Carnegie, brings a series of teachings on how to stand out in personal relationships.
Finally, in the book "Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less", author Nicholas Boothman teaches us how to win people over in the first 90 seconds. This is accomplished from 4 aspects: basic knowledge of communication, connection with human nature, connection with personality, and building relationships.
Okay, but how can I apply this to my life?
In order for us to have authority on something, the first step is to carry out the study and practice of the teachings. In this way, we will become more and more experienced in better understanding the minds of those around us.
The author Henrik Fexeus presents in his book many exercises and images to fix the content and improve our skills, so it is ideal to pay special attention to them.
Finally, we can summarize “The Art of Reading Minds” as a practical exercise. Something that is present in our daily lives and we can apply it at all times.
But to kick-start this key turning point in your life, here are some valuable tips on how to start reading minds through behavioral assessment:
- Train: success in this art requires training, so start training with the people closest to you and gradually cover your tests;
- Always be attentive: analyze the characteristics of the people with whom you communicate, this is crucial for future steps;
- Start with you: control your emotions and body language, so you can get your message across using the right language.
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We hope you enjoyed our summary and are able to apply the teachings of the author, Henrik Fexeus, to your life. Leave your opinion in the comments, your feedback is very important to us!
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