The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

This summary of the book “The Four Agreements” will show you that there is a guide for you to achieve personal freedom and well-being. And what takes you to that destination are four simple lessons, taught by author Don Miguel Ruiz.

Do you feel that in your daily routine, you stop practicing some simple habits and this generates insecurity and depression?

Do you feel that some words spoken by others can completely change your day?

If you want to solve your doubts in relation to these and other issues related to what affects you and prevents you from freeing yourself from these “chains”, keep reading this summary!

The book “The Four Agreements”

“The Four Agreements” was first published in 1997, by Don Miguel Ruiz. The book has sold over 6 million copies in the United States and seven million worldwide.

New York Times bestseller for nearly ten years, it was the 36th bestselling book of the decade and translated into over 40 languages.

Who is Don Miguel Ruiz?

Don Miguel Ruiz is a spiritual teacher and author of international bestsellers such as “The Four Agreements”, “The Mastery of Love”, and “The Voice of Knowledge”.

The author has received numerous worldwide awards, including a US Air Force “challenge coin” engraved with “The Four Agreements”.

Also, he received the honorary title in Cultural and Social Education from the American Cultural Institute of Mexico and is referred to as a “national treasure” in his native country.

Why should I read “The Four Agreements”?

The book “The Four Agreements” is recommended for everyone who suffers from depression, anxiety, dependence, and insecurity, creating unnecessary suffering and losing the joy of living.

What can I learn from “The Four Agreements”?

• Words have immense power and should not be used frivolously;
• When someone talks about you, they are actually exposing themselves;
• Stick only to the immediate and concrete reality;
• In any situation, even in the most insignificant circumstances, do your best: no more, no less. Reject sacrifices or strenuous efforts: do what you can, in the best possible way.

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How can you be impeccable with your word?

The author Don Miguel Ruiz begins this chapter of the book “The Four Agreements” by explaining why the first agreement is related to the word.

He points out that it is through it that we express our creative power, that we communicate and show our thoughts and feelings.

However, the author compares the word with a double-edged sword. It can create the most beautiful situation or destroy everything around you.

To exemplify, Don Miguel Ruiz cites Hitler’s example. Through the word, he managed to manipulate an entire country and persuade the population to commit powerful acts of violence.

On the other hand, people who use the word to praise and spread love will be much happier with themselves and others because those who are impeccable with words feel good and at peace.

Don’t Take Anything Personally

According to the author Don Miguel Ruiz, we take everything personally because we agree with what is being said. And as soon as we agree, the poison passes through us and we get trapped in the “dream of hell”.

What makes this poison captured is self-importance, the ultimate expression of selfishness. We believe that everything revolves around “me” and that we are responsible for everything.

All people live in their own minds and in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we assume that others know what is in our world, as it is explained in the book “The Four Agreements”.

Even if someone insults you directly, appearing to be personal, it has nothing to do with you. The opinions they express are in line with the commitments that people have on their minds and their views are in line with the programming they received during domestication.

If someone says to you “Wow, how you got fat!”, the author advises not to take it personally. If you take it personally, you are accepting all the poison, which will become yours.

Don’t Make Assumptions

We have a habit of making assumptions about everything and we always believe that they are true. We made a conclusion, got it wrong, took it personally, and ended up creating a big conflict.

The author Don Miguel Ruiz cites, in his book “The Four Agreements”, the example of assumptions in relationships. We often assume that our partners know what we want and that we don’t have to express our wishes.

So we keep in mind that they will do whatever we want, after all, they already know us very well. If they don’t do what is expected, we feel hurt and say: “You should know”.

We make assumptions regardless of whether something was contacted or not. This happens because we need to know and satisfy the desire for communication.

We draw conclusions even when we don’t understand what we have been told and come to believe. This is because we don’t have the courage to ask questions.

Asking questions is a way to avoid assumptions. Don Miguel Ruiz advises us to ask questions until things are as clear as possible, and even so, never imagine that you know everything there is to know in a given situation.

Once you hear the answer, you don’t have to draw conclusions because you will know the truth.

How do you give your best?

The last lesson of Don Miguel Ruiz is that, under all circumstances, we always do the best we can, no more and no less.

However, the author warns that you keep in mind that your best will never be the same from one moment to the next.

Everything is alive and changing all the time; so doing your best can sometimes produce high quality and sometimes it won’t be as good.

An example cited in the book “The Four Agreements” is the energy throughout the day. When you wake up, you are more rested and, therefore, your “best” will have more quality than when you are tired.

Regardless of quality, keep doing your best, no more, no less. If you try too hard to achieve your “best”, you will spend more energy than necessary, and in the end, your “best” will not be enough.

When you overdo it, deplete your body and go against yourself, it takes longer to reach your goal. If you do less than your “best”, you will be subject to frustration, self-judgment, guilt, and regret.

Books on personal growth

For Daniel Goleman, author of “Emotional Intelligence”, strong emotions can interfere with attention and all aspects of clear thinking. Instead of trying to eliminate their feelings, people should strive to find an intelligent balance between reason and emotion.

For Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton, authors of the book “Now, Discover Your Strengths”, to increase productivity, the key is to focus on the strengths of employees rather than trying to improve the weaknesses.

In the book “Awaken the Giant Within”, the author Tony Robbins explains that to bring about lasting change in your life, you must first change your beliefs. A good way to facilitate this process is to have a model to mirror and adapt the guidelines to your reality.

How can I apply the ideas from “The Four Agreements”?

• Be very careful with the words you use;
• Do not gossip;
• Know how to filter and analyze when receiving insults;
• Pay attention to the immediate and concrete reality;
• Always be clear and transparent;
• Ask questions;
• Do what you can to the best of your ability.

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