Are you tired of personal development books that always carry generic information about how to be happy or "positive thinking always" approaches?
Well, this book completely escapes those ideas and helps us look at the world in a very different way, completely the opposite from the conventional!
Are you curious? So keep reading this summary!
In contrast to many self-help books, Mark Manson presents us with a cold, but engaging language, with a certain appeal to the expression "f*ck", the pressure that the present world imposes on us and how we should behave in this reality.
Although the choice of the word used by the author is somewhat "eccentric", it gives us genuine insights and expresses itself in a way that leads us to reflect on habits that we sometimes have to care too much about the wrong things.
Mark Manson is an author, entrepreneur and owner of a blog with his name. Also, he is the CEO and founder of Infinity Square Media LLC, a company that works with Web management.
Known for being direct to the point and rough, there are people who like his texts and others that don't. As the author himself says:
"Some people say that I am an idiot, others say that I have saved their lives."
The content of this book is suitable for all people who have an interest in personal growth and, of course, for those who have a good sense of humor!
Are you intrigued? So keep reading this summary and understand Manson's point of view!
Do you have no time to read now? Then download the free PDF and read wherever and whenever you want:
Mason describes in his book what he calls the "Feedback Loop from Hell": people are increasingly insecure, angry, and anxious to themselves because of today's society and its exhibitionist culture. But how so?
Some people have incredible lives - with beautiful girlfriends and expensive cars in the garage - traveling year-round to the most beautiful places on Earth.
It's hard for a "normal" person to not think of, as Mark says in the book, "Gee, whiz, I sure do feel like a cow turd today". That is, thinking about these glamorous and interessant lives, called positive experiences, leaves us sad, what are negative experiences.
He says that's the reason for the whole problem, we need to stop caring about these things and accept our reality, as it's normal for things to go wrong, accepting that the world is the way it is.
The author Mark Manson uses the concept of the philosopher Alan Watts called "Law of Inverted Effort" to express himself. The more we try to feel good all the time, the more unhappy we get. This is because "seeking something" only reinforces that we do not have it.
The book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" tells that this is where one enters into a cruel paradox: to seek the positive is negative, while the search for the negative is positive.
"The pain you pursue in the gym results in better all-around health and energy. The failures in business are what lead to a better understanding of what's necessary to be successful."
These are examples cited by the author on the law of inverse effort. That way, the things that really matter in life are those in which you overcome the related negative feelings. So you become more charismatic, confident and prepared.
Understand that this expression does not mean that you should stop caring about things or do not submit or care about anyone; Such people are called by society as psychopaths.
So, Mark explains the true meaning of the expression used by him through three subtleties.
"Not giving a f*ck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different."
One thing we need to have in our life: a goal. If your goal is to become, for example, the best ballet dancer in your city, you will have to overcome not only your competitors but probable discriminations (yes, they exist - be aware of this).
In this way, to achieve your goal you should not care about it and through much training, defeat, suffering, overcome all adversities and difficulties, gaining your position.
"To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity."
It seems kind of obvious, but many times we get annoyed with trivial or useless things (believe me, there's a reason).
In his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*uck" Manson cites the example of an old lady who complained about a 30 cent promotion that was misinterpreted by her.
It's only thirty cents and the person gets irritated for nothing. Mark points out that this is a way for people to release all the unhappy feelings stored within them and that even these people do not really have a purpose to worry about.
So focus and invest your time and energy in what really matters to you.
"Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a fuck about."
Manson explains that we are born and live our youth caring for everything and everyone. But as time goes by and life goes on presenting us with the most diverse experiences, we realize that most things have no relevance whatsoever.
He explains that our emotional becomes more selective, which can be called maturity. That is, we do not coexist anymore with the people we've tried so hard to impress.
As we get closer to an old age we lose much of our energy and our desire for the world decreases, so we become less concerned about things and accept our condition better, even with all the flaws.
Mark explains with this that we need to turn our attention to friends, family and the things we really enjoy doing.
In this chapter, Mark Manson describes the story of Hiroo Onoda, who struggled for 30 years living in the forest with a single, well-defined purpose, never surrendering.
When found by Norio Suzuki, he returned to Japan facing a completely different reality from what he had known at the time of the Japanese empire.
In this way, Onoda felt happier living in the forest, lost in the middle of the wet bush, dedicating most of his life to a "ghost war", than in the new Japan of consumer culture and women wearing western clothes.
Mark explains that Onoda's purpose had meant and his suffering served a greater cause, so he was able to bear it and even like it.
At the end of the story, Manson brings us another reflection: "What are we suffering for?". It does not matter whatsoever, as long as there is meaning and relevance to you.
But be careful! Life is hard and the path of happiness is full of obstacles. A good way of not letting ourselves down and being healthy and feeling better is to admit it.
For Daniel Goleman, author of "Emotional Intelligence”, strong emotions can interfere with attention and all aspects of clear thinking. Instead of trying to eliminate their feelings, people should strive to find an intelligent balance between reason and emotion.
For Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton, authors of the book "Discover Your Strengths", to increase productivity, the key is to focus on employees' strengths instead of living trying to improve their weaknesses.
In the book "Awaken The Giant Within", author Tony Robbins explains that to make lasting change in your life, you must first change your beliefs. A good way to facilitate this process is to have a model to look up to, and adapt the guidelines to your reality.
Mark portrays in his work that "not giving a f*ck" is something that many people find "cool" in other people. However, most of us have an impregnated habit in our consciousness to care about what people think.
The author also says that linking the "you already know what" is not being indifferent, but rather a way of having the courage to be decisive and firm, to face the adversities in the environments we attend, personal and/or professional, and to create a proper mindset to your problem.
He says that the most irritated people are those who have unrealistic, fanciful and empty expectations of life and that, to succeed, we must get out of the comfort, focusing our attention on bigger problems that are more worthy!
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