The world is changing rapidly in all areas. However, this doesn't mean that you also need to change with it. For this to be possible, you need to be at peace with yourself, as well as practicing tranquility and self-compassion.This is the reflection made by Haemin Sunim in his work "The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down".
Not understanding fully your interpersonal relationships, desires, dreams, and spirituality affects how you relate to everything that's around you.
In this PocketBook, you will learn how to deal with routine setbacks from the teachings of the Buddhist master described throughout the book.
“The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” released in 2012 by the author Haemin Sumin is a guide to mindfulness and meeting with our inner wisdom.
The simple messages expounded in the work directly meet the anxieties that have become part of modern life. Thus, the author reminds us that our strength and joy come when we slow down.
Author Haemin Sunim is a Zen Buddhism teacher and is currently one of South Korea's most influential people.
The South Korean monk studied film in the United States, having graduated from Princeton and Harvard, where he had his call to religious life.
Haemin became the first Korean monk to teach about religiosity at an American university, living on an air bridge between his native country and New York.
The book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” will be of great help to anyone who feels disconnected with themselves in order to put their mistakes and hits on a scale. That way you can understand and learn from life's experiences and do not repeat the same patterns.
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In the first chapter of the book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down”, Haemin Sunim shows that the way we perceive the world is very individual. Moreover, the author states that this individuality is directly linked to our thoughts.
The way we view the world is nothing more than a reflection of what we idealize as the ideal. This idea is based on our life experience and the expectations we place in the situations we've lived and what we see.
Everything that happens in our lives is the fruit of the human mind. So it's crucial to have complete control over inner peace, calm and anxiety for example.
This is because these feelings are not projected by the world or other people, but by the daily events experienced by each one. So the only person who can reverse something in your life is yourself.
For example, in order to get a good night's sleep, it's important that before bedtime only good and pleasant thoughts come to your mind. Thus, the tendency is that there is a reduction in anxiety and greater relaxation in the body, giving rise to a peaceful sleep.
With this, every time you are feeling busy and overwhelmed, know that there is always something you can do to change this situation. Remember: when the mind rests, the world rests as well.
When something annoys you or when someone breaks your trust, it's important that you rest for a moment. Hanging out with friends to let off steam is very important at times like this. In addition, praying and taking care of yourself is also fundamental.
In this part of the book, the author discusses the importance of analyzing situations and rationalizing your emotions.
It's important that you are aware of all your emotions, especially negative ones. As difficult as this action may be, it's possible to break the limits of your self-awareness.
So, as you notice the birth of any negative feelings, try to control it. That way you will be able to get away from it completely.
However, in many cases, some people confuse controlling their emotions by repressing them. This ends up causing an emotional overflow in the future.
The best way to control your emotions is to separate what you are feeling from the name given to it, such as "hate" or "anger." As a result, it tends to change, as energy often changes, while labels are unchanging.
Then, by unburdening your feelings, you will be able to realize that negative emotion is temporary, without having to work hard at it.
“The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” indicates that when someone is sad for some reason, they observe their feelings without trying to change them. By doing so, it will change on its own.
According to Haemin Sumin, looking at your feelings externally for three minutes causes them to begin to slowly transform.
Therefore, it's crucial to avoid taking them too seriously so as not to internalize them as part of you and your identity. You are not your feelings or the story that comes to your mind when you feel them.
In this chapter, Haemin Sunim addresses the topic of passion and enthusiasm about some task and how frustrating it can be when these feelings are not matched.
Regardless of whether a subject is very important to you, it is crucial to keep in mind that it may not be of equal importance to other people. Also, the more you talk about a subject that doesn't interest your audience, the more they will dislike the topic.
Also, by finding a balance between the enthusiasm of something that pleases you and the neutrality of your speech, many more people will be interested in what you have to say.
We all have values and beliefs that have been built over the years, becoming the basis of our thoughts and lifestyle. However, sometimes we get along with people who have different thoughts than ours, which can lead us to conflict over different worldviews.
So, to avoid fights and arguments, ask yourself if it's worth making the other person feel hurt and inferior because of your ideals.
According to the author Haemin Sunim:
"Trying to convince someone to adopt our point of view is the work of our ego. And even if in the end we are right, the ego will never be satisfied, and will seek a new discussion to get in."
So, remember that being right is not as important as being well and happy with someone.
In part 4 of the book, the author discusses the need to maintain good relationships and how this can be achieved.
The author states that regardless of whether or not we have various assets, we will probably feel lonely and unhappy if we don't have good interpersonal relationships.
Achieving full happiness requires cultivating good relationships. Thus, it's important to be aware of situations that may cause some kind of conflict, such as pride.
So, it's critical that you focus on being more understanding even in times of adversity.
According to the book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” it is important that you forgive the people who hurt you in some way. You have to do it for yourself and not for other people. In this way, you free yourself from this feeling and you can become truly happy.
As difficult and unfair as it may seem, treat others with kindness, even if they have done something bad to you.
Haemin Sumin states that:
"Although your heart will not listen to your mind, decide to forgive and get rid of emotional strings attached. And then revisit your feelings of anger and bitterness."
First love is something that can consume our thoughts for days and hours without us having control over it. But even if it results in a broken heart, it's important to keep in mind that feelings come and go.
So as you look back and remember your first love, be grateful for the moment it happened and remember that moment with great affection.
In this part of the book, Haemin Sunim states that no matter how famous someone may be, he remains an ordinary person. This is because everyone shares obstacles, losses and hurts in life.
Thus, no matter who you are, you have to go through challenging times over which you have no control. Loneliness and the fear of death are one of those moments.
The first liberating idea is that people are not as interested in you as you think. As much as this statement may seem a little exaggerated, for most of our time we are not thinking of others.
So why should we spend so much time worrying about what others think of us?
The second idea is that not everyone needs to like you. There are probably several people you can't stand. It is therefore important that you accept the same with you.
Finally, most of the time, we are thinking about ourselves without caring about others. Although we care about friends and family, we have a deep-rooted concern with us.
So it's important that you stop worrying about what others think and start doing what you want.
By uttering a word of encouragement, you are able to change someone's future. This is because as we are encouraged, we are motivated to achieve our goals, says Haemin Sunim in his book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down”.
So no matter who you are or your dreams, speak words of encouragement as they can change someone's future.
Regardless of whether you have a different worldview than others, it's important that you try to connect with them. In this way, you are able to connect with many types of people you never imagined and create long-lasting bonds.
According to the author, when two people in the same family follow two different spiritual paths, there may be discussions and disagreements within the family.
Although religions preach love and reconciliation, there is a lot of tension on this subject.
So, first of all, you need to understand that the main reason someone is tense about it is social and family pressure. That way you may feel that the other person's spiritual path is not that orthodox.
The book “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down” explains that to change this situation, one needs to understand a little about the other spiritual path. Look for books and people who follow this same religion. This makes it much easier to live with and accept differences.
In “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”, author Dale Carnegie teaches you how to shield your mind, get around worries, and strengthen yourself in the face of everyday problems.
In the book “Emotional Intelligence”, the author Daniel Goleman describes the nature of emotional intelligence by showing scientific insights into the subject and leading us to understand how much it impacts our lives. In addition, the book teaches you how to stimulate emotional intelligence to succeed in every aspect you desire.
And, in “Ansiedade”, Augusto Cury addresses important topics related to mental health. He explains clearly and objectively the Accelerated Thinking Syndrome (ATS) and brings the reflection that slowing our thoughts and knowing how to manage our mind is fundamental for a healthier life.
The reflections this book passes to the reader are:
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